You have a destiny, but it’s going to hurt and it’s going to cost you something. AND you are worth fulfilling whatever your destiny is!!!
But here’s the thing-your destiny doesn’t just happen; you have to go get it.
When I say you have to go get it, I don’t mean what most people hear. I don’t mean you have to sacrifice countless hours, stay up all hours of the night, work nights and weekends, or give up spending time with your family.
You’re in for a fight! A fight to come to the realization that your destiny is mostly a fight with yourself and your brain.
There are two reasons people fall short of fulfilling their destinies.
- Past pain or failure
- A little taste of success
Let’s look a little further.
Past Pain and Failure
Somewhere in the past, you have been rejected or have failed. Those rejections and failures have created pain triggers to help avoid pain in the future. When we experience pain, whether it’s physical or emotional, our brains trigger to avoid (at all costs) to never experience the same pain again.
Here’s the problem, most of the pain or failure we experience is false pain or fear.
You see, if we were cavewomen in the Stone Age, this kind of protective mechanism would work perfectly. It would work because human beings’ survival was a literal threat-survival of the fittest!
In this modern world, today’s threats are not actually threatening our survival-BUT our brains don’t distinguish between an actual threat and a perceived threat. Instead, our brains create a protective response that now no longer serves us.
Understanding this mechanism allows us to recognize the fear and apply an informed view of what is real and what is perceived.
Fear and failure don’t have to define you.
You can see the fear for what it is and then make a choice to move forward of your own free will. Or in the case of failure, recognize where you fell short, leverage the learning opportunities, and grow from what you learned from where you failed.
The second reason we fall short of fulfilling our destinies is due to a little bit of success.
Have you ever reached a goal and then celebrated a little too long? Maybe you stopped doing what was working that helped you reach your goal in the first place. Then the success starts to dwindle, or the momentum begins to taper off. We can definitely see this tendency with losing weight. Once you reach your weight loss goal, it’s like, “Hey, let’s eat cake to celebrate!” But, unfortunately, the tendency is not to keep doing what worked-even though that is precisely what we need to do.
You are only ever-expanding or shrinking in your abilities.
The minute you have a win, celebrate and reward yourself for the success!!!! And then look at this new accomplishment and see where you want to keep expanding and then take action. Otherwise, if you don’t keep growing where you are, you will take the proverbial two steps backward.
As human beings, we are only really afraid of two things; falling and loud noises. Everything else is learned and not real.
Despite your past, you have a future!!
Don’t lose the heart to fight. Doesn’t the fight sometimes take the wind out of your sails? Sometimes that fight is hard to get going. There may not be anything inspiring initially. Or maybe you muster your anger to get you moving forward. Instead of waiting to get the wind back in your sails, TAKE ACTION and move that wind yourself.
Look at the size of the possibility of what could be. You have to want your destiny badly enough. Reflect on what you HAVE accomplished so far and stop focusing on the obstacles.
When your faith is fading, and you feel like quitting:
Focus on the blessings. Gratitude is a powerful tool. It frames the way you view the world. So does dwelling on the obstacles. So prioritize which is more productive for you-dwelling on what is in your way or being grateful for what you have now so that it creates space to receive more blessings in the future?
And then, call out what you are fighting for. I was tired of sacrificing my success for my family and my family for success. So, I declared war on the notion that I could fulfill my destiny or have financial freedom but not both.
My view was completely setting me up for only having success or family.
Every day, I make a conscious decision that I can have a successful business doing what I love and be the mom and wife I want to be, despite what others and society say.